So Young But So Old But So Young But So Different

Sometimes you’re 23 and standing in the kitchen of your apartment making breakfast and listening to music that for some reason is really getting to your heart. You’re just standing there thinking about going to work and getting what you need to get done and certain things about your life. You are also thinking about more exciting things like GQ magazines you’re reading and trips you plan on taking and relationships that are springing into existence, or fading from your memory, which is far less exciting. And suddenly you just don’t feel at home in your skin or in your life and you just want to be “home” but “Mom’s” probably wouldn’t feel like home anymore either. There used to be the comfort of a number in your phone and ears that listened everyday and arms that were never for anyone else. There used to real friends that had your back and showed trust and appreciation. Things used to be taken care of and you had no major responsibilities. But just to calm you down when you started feeling trapped in a five-minute period where nostalgia is too much and thoughts of this person you are, feel foreign- you focus on the song again. Then you suddenly realize that you’ll never be this young again but this is the first time you’ve ever been this old. When you can’t remember how you got from sixteen to here and all the same feel like sixteen is just as much of a stranger to you now. The song is over. The breakfast is done. You’re going to be fine in about five minutes. Let the day begin. You are grown now.`